


Declarations

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-09-22
Updated: 2001-09-22
Packaged: 2019-05-15 22:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14799378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of theWest Wing Fanfiction Central, a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in theannouncement post.





	Declarations

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

The Schedule: Declarations  
By Jenna

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be, but you knew that already.  
Archive: If you wish  
Rating: G to PG for language.  
Feedback: Is a rare and precious commodity.

(Voiceover) Previously in 'The Schedule': The Setup, Week Five, Special Dispensation, A Memorable Event, Safe Harbor, Shared Dreams Memorial Memories Dispositions Depositions

* * * Friday, Week 11, The White House * * *

The preliminary hearing and depositions continued before the Senate Judiciary Committee as the Senators built their public images and private influence though the nonstop investigation into whether there was sufficient cause to impeach President Bartlet. Despite the battle lines being drawn between the Bartlet administration and Capitol Hill's Republican leadership, the business of running the country continued. That included the social business of holding White House receptions for visiting dignitaries. Tonight the reception was for the newly appointed ambassador from Japan. The East Room was crowded with the various Senators, Congressional Representatives, aides, lobbyists, and campaign contributors who rated an invitation to the affair.

Communications Director Toby Ziegler took the whiskey on the rocks and white wine from the bartender and made his way across the room to where Press Secretary CJ Cregg was talking with Sam Seaborn. Handing CJ the wine, he asked, "How's he doing?" lifting his chin towards a cluster of men about 15 feet to the left.

CJ and Sam followed his eyes to Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman in the midst of an animated discussion with a couple of key Senators who's votes were needed to increase the funding for the tobacco case.

"He's fine." CJ said taking a sip of her wine. "I don't think he's even noticed the music."

"He said if it bothered him, he'd leave. It's not a problem," Sam added.

"Maybe Donna should be here," Toby mumbled.

"Toby, he's fine," CJ countered. "We'll stick to the plan. Donna will be here later."

"Yeah, sure. It's just that he was stressed-out earlier."

"He had a rough day," CJ shrugged. "That Senator from Wyoming or Montana or someplace--"

"Barnes from... uh... Utah" Sam supplied.

"Whatever-- seemed to think Josh and Leo had masterminded a plot to take over the world."

"Like the Military would back us in that endeavor..." Toby commented sarcastically. Getting the Military's support was an ongoing struggle for the Bartlet administration.

As Sam was about to state his thoughts on the absurdity of the idea, a metal serving tray covered with glasses of wine was knocked from its stand and hit the tile floor with a loud clatter. All conversation stopped as the startled Senior Staff looked at the overturned tray with the shattered glass and the pools of red wine flowing across the white tile, then invariable looked at Josh. Josh, who had been talking to influential Senators. Josh, who had been facing away from the accident and would have had no warning that it was coming. Josh, who was only 10 feet from the sound that had made the rest of them flinch. Josh, who had been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

"Find Donna." Toby ordered as he walked over to Josh and the Senators.

"Excuse me, Senators. Can we borrow Josh?" Toby asked coming up and putting a hand on Josh's back.

"Certainly," they agreed as Toby's hand applied pressure to Josh's back to guide him away from the crowd. Toby nonchalantly steered Josh to the doors and out onto the terrace.

"You okay?" he asked as they got outside and Josh sank to a stone bench and closed his eyes.

"Yeah. It was just a flash. They had to have noticed my reaction though," Josh said leaning his head back against the cool stone wall, the tension evident on his face.

"We all flinched. Even people who weren't at Rosslyn flinched. It's human reaction to a loud noise."

"Yeah. But I'm the one being dissected by the Senate."

Chief of Staff Leo McGarry slipped out the door and joined them. "How ya doing?" he asked softly.

"I'm fine, really. It was just a quick flash," Josh replied looking up to his mentor and surrogate father.

"You sure? Donna can take you home..."

"I can manage. We agreed not to give them too many chances to see Donna and me together until they've finished deposing me. Besides, my electricity's still out. I slept here last night."

"Josh..." Leo growled paternally at his deputy.

"You're staying with me tonight." Toby stated. "Your electricity is out, so you're staying with me." Toby emphasized the ostensible reason why Josh would not be alone tonight.

Josh looked over at Toby and nodded his consent. "Thanks."

"You ready to go back in? CJ should be back with Donna by now, if you're up for your 'Kodak moment'", Leo smirked.

Josh didn't respond to Leo's quip. He'd forgotten that he could expect a barrage of photographer's flashes when Donna met him at the reception. They had planned to allow the Press a 'Kodak moment' of Josh greeting Donna at the reception, playing to the theme of 'America's Sweethearts' as the Times' gossip columnist had dubbed them. The sweetness of the photos had set the tone of the report in that morning's paper and provided the most positive press coverage that the administration had received in weeks. Josh and Donna's romance would, of necessity, be milked for all the all-American, romance possible without, of course, appearing to be doing anything of the sort.

Leo and Toby exchanged looks past the too quiet and pale Deputy Chief of Staff. "Nevermind," Leo said. "Toby's gonna take you home now."

"No... I'm fine. We need the press."

"We'll do it another night, Josh. I'm not entirely confident that photographing you and Donna tonight wouldn't reveal more than we want," the Chief of Staff replied, turning away. "Toby?"

"Let's go, Josh."

Josh sighed and stood up. They were right, they couldn't take the chance that his PTSD or Donna's concern wouldn't be all too clear in any photograph taken tonight. "What about Donna?"

"Donna will make the rounds like a good political wife, or fiancée in this case. We'll say something came up and you and Toby had to make some calls or something. I'll send her over as soon as possible. Go on," he gestured towards the walkway. Toby put a supporting hand on Josh's back and steered him towards the gate.

They stopped at Josh's apartment in the renovated Georgetown brownstone and picked up some clothes and his shaving kit. A little over an hour after leaving the reception, they arrived at Toby's utilitarian one-bedroom apartment in one of the massive apartment complexes along the Beltway.

"You see why we always get together at your place," Toby said as he moved a pile of newspapers and magazines off the sofa. "It's not quaint, but it serves its purpose. Sit down, sit down. The couch makes out into a bed." He pointed around the living room to the other doorways. "There's the kitchen, bathroom, my room. You want a drink? How 'bout a beer?"

"I'm fine, thanks," Josh replied taking off his suit jacket and hanging it over a kitchen chair. He was rolling up his shirtsleeves when the doorbell rang.

Toby let CJ and Donna into the apartment. Donna walked into Josh's arms while CJ gave Toby a questioning look. Toby shrugged in response.

"You okay?" Donna asked pulling out of the hug enough to look at Josh's face.

"Yeah. It was just a flash."

"Just one?"

He shook his head, "I've had several since. Just sporadic... Really, I could manage, but with Pepco sayin' it'll be Sunday afternoon before they get the power back on..."

"We just want to make sure someone's around if it gets worse," Toby stated grimly. He handed CJ a beer and said, "I'm going to sit out on the balcony and smoke a cigar. That ought to take oh... say... about 20 minutes... CJ?"

"er... right. I'm just gonna admire the scenery while Toby smokes his cigar."

"CJ, it's a freeway," Josh smiled at her excuse for leaving them alone for their allotted 20 minutes --not that they would dare get as passionate as they were allowed with Toby and CJ just outside the door.

"Uh... well... you know... Toby want to help me out here?"

"She wants to make out with me," he deadpanned.

Josh and Donna laughed at the notion while CJ glared at Toby and pushed him out the sliding glass door to the balcony.

Josh and Donna settled on the couch, their hands caressing each other's faces.

"Tell me what happened," Donna said, rubbing his right cheek with her thumb.

He turned his face to kiss her palm and sighed deeply. He leaned back into the corner of the sofa, pulling her on top of him. "The tray hit the floor and everyone jumped then looked at the mess. But those of us who were at Rosslyn jumped more noticeably, and then everyone who knew about the PTSD looked at me. I was with a couple of Senators --trying to win support for additional funding for the tobacco case-- they had to have noticed my reaction, and if they didn't, the fact that the rest of the staff was looking at me..."

"You think they'll put it together?"

"Maybe..." he shrugged rubbing a hand up and down her back. "I don't know. Toby made an excuse about needing me and took me outside. But between this and all the times Oliver's clarified questions as being in regards to the President's health, someone's bound to wonder..."

"Maybe they won't figure it out. Maybe they'll just think everyone looked at you because they remembered you'd been shot the last time there was an unexpected noise."

"Yeah, maybe," he said as he moved to kiss her.

"Are they really going to make you spend all weekend testifying?" Donna asked planting a trail of kisses from his temple to his jaw.

"Yeah. They are trying to wear me down. They think if they keep at me nonstop, I'll make a mistake."

"And spill the beans about how you're assisting the evil Doctors Bartlet and their heinous henchman Leo McGarry with a plot to take over the world, if not the galaxy?" She teased working his shirttail out from his dress pants.

He sighed and kissed her as her hand slid under his shirt to caress the bare skin of his back in the most intimate act that they were allowed at present under Leo's rules. Hearing the soft voices of CJ and Toby on the balcony, Josh had no intention of reciprocating the intimate act.

"CJ says she's trying to get Leo to revise the schedule so she can announce the engagement next week instead of Week 14. It's not like it hasn't already come out in the depositions."

"Makes sense to me. Might want to make sure I make it through next week first, though."

"Think I'll need to pawn my engagement ring for bail money?" she asked rubbing her index finger up and down the thin trace of the surgical scar on his chest.

Josh smiled and kissed her again. "I'd just like to see you be able to wear it."

"Talk to Leo."

"I think CJ has a better chance of convincing him to change the schedule. He thinks I'm biased," he smiled, dimpling briefly.

"He thinks you're a slick, manipulative politician."

"My Master taught me well."

"Umm..." she snuggled, running her splayed fingers up his chest. "Even if I can't wear it yet, I'm glad we were able to pick the ring up from the jeweler after it was sized. With them closed down until the power comes back on, I'd be ready to do some breaking-and-entering. Hmm... Think we should turn master criminals if we all get thrown out of the White House in disgrace? Sam and CJ and I could be cat burglars --hanging from wires and dodging the laser beams. I would look really good in a black cat suit, don't you think?

"Umm..." he agreed kissing her deeply.

"You'd be the safecracker who learned everything he knows from his mentor -- Leo does know how to crack safes doesn't he? He knows everything."

Josh chuckled, enjoying the silly scenario of their post-White House future. "I have every confidence in Leo's ability to crack any safe in the world. I suspect Leo could just look at a safe and it would pop open for him."

"That's settled then. President Bartlet should be the wealthy industrialist who secretly employs us all, because, of course, we wouldn't really be bad-guy master criminals--"

"Heaven forbid!"

"We'd only steal from the real bad guys and return the stolen goods to their rightful owners."

"Of course. What about Toby and Charlie? What'll they do?"

"Toby's the master forger. He'll come up with all the fake ID's, passports, Rembrandts, Van Goghs, whatever we need. Charlie? Umm... Let's see... he'd have to be the aide to the industrialist. He could slip the secret messages to Leo to have us all meet at midnight in the secret headquarters."

Josh laughed and moved to sit up knowing that their time must be about up. "One thing's for sure, I'll never be bored married to a cat-burglar. Seriously, Donna," he continued softly, "Even with... you know... everything bad that's happened this last year, I think I'm the luckiest man in the world 'cause I have you... Donna, promise me, if I ever say anything, or do anything, you know, so stupid that you're tempted to walk out on me, you'll give me a chance to fix it. Just whack me upside the head, tell me to apologize, tell me to not be an idiot... I couldn't--"

"Josh..." Donna whispered in a strangled voice between laughter and tears. "I'm never going to walk out on you--I might throw you out..." she grinned kissing him again. I love you. You," she emphasized. "I know you well enough to expect you to say stupid things occasionally. I wouldn't marry you if-- Josh!" she pulled out of the hug and whacked him upside the head." That was a stupid thing to say! Except the part that was sweet, that is. I have you know I'm not some petulant child who would run away from home --walk out on you-- for, you know, being you. I'm in for the long haul and don't you forget it, buster," she pulled him to her and kissed him soundly as the glass door to the balcony slid open.

"Okay, okay, time's up. Enough of that," Toby said briskly.

Josh and Donna broke apart grinning. Josh looked happier and less tense than he had in weeks. The 20 minutes with Donna had driven the night's memories of the shooting away. Toby and CJ exchanged a quick look of relief.

"Why Josh, you're looking a little more disheveled than usual..." CJ teased.

Josh blushed and stammered. Donna chuckled and slowly kissed him before walking away and grabbing her purse. "See you tomorrow," she said as the two women left the apartment.

* * * Monday, Week 12, Capitol Hill * * *

"This is the third time today that you or the White House Counsel has asked whether the question pertains only to the President's health. I have to wonder how many people in the White House have secret health issues," the Senator smirked.

Josh turned to his left to look at White House Counsel Oliver Babish for guidance.

"With all due respect, Senator," Oliver answered, "there are over 1,000 people working in the White House. Many of whom can be expected to have health issues that they don't wish to divulge. It is conceivable that certain other staffers have been told of those health conditions under terms of secrecy. Does this committee have an interest in whether a member of the support staff may be pregnant but hasn't told anyone yet?"

At the round of chuckles, the Senator frowned. "I suspect that this is about more than health secrets of the support staff. Who are you protecting?"

Oliver looked back at Josh.

"They're protecting me."

Oliver interrupted, "The White House would like to state for the record that Josh Lyman has had lingering health problems related to the critical injuries he suffered in the shooting a year ago in Rosslyn, Virginia. Because of the contentious nature of his job as the Deputy Chief of Staff, it was desirable to keep his health problem, such as stiffness and lingering pain, from becoming common knowledge."

The Senator wanted to get the questioning away from the subject of the shooting in Rosslyn and the associated memories of the President and Josh Lyman's heroic injuries. Generating sympathy for either of the Democrats wounded that day would detract from the desired agenda of weakening, if not destroying, the Bartlet administration.

"Very well. Excluding discussions of your own health concerns, what discussions regarding health matters do you recall having had with the President last fall."

* * * Wednesday evening, Week 12, Pennsylvania Avenue * * *

Josh had been dismissed from another nerve-wracking day of testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee. They simply refused to believe that he could not have known of the President's MS during the campaign. They were convinced if they kept hounding him that he would admit what they wanted to hear --or at least admit to something that they could hang criminal charges on. Josh, alternating between tersely arrogant and charmingly irrepressible, was rapidly becoming the media darling of the C-Span set.

Josh was walking back to the White House to allow himself the time to relax and relieve the tension and nervous energy of his day's ordeal. He stopped and turned around at hearing the familiar voice of Washington Post reporter Danny Concannon call his name.

"Josh!"

"Danny. How's the book?"

"It's coming. Slowly. Of course, if you guys get thrown out of office then no one'll buy it..."

"America loves scandals. You'd probably have a best seller," Josh replied with gallows humor. "What's up? You writing a chapter on the preliminary hearings?"

"Something like that. Congratulations on the engagement, by the way."

"Thanks. CJ's convinced Leo to let her announce it next week -- assuming the Committee's done with me and I'm not in jail, that is.

"Might as well make it official. It's all over the internet, anyway."

"It's on the internet?" Josh asked incredulously.

"Sure. The DC chatrooms and message board gossip has you secretly married since the campaign. Seriously, Josh. People are happy for you and Donna. People see it as a Cinderella story. Donna's a "working-girl", someone the average person can identify with. You're the hotshot political golden-boy who almost died in the assassination attempt on the President. She nursed you back to health, you fell in love --everyone loves romance. America needs this story to take our minds off the hearings. If people empathize with you and Donna, then by association, they'll empathize with the President."

Josh nodded. Danny was just confirming what they'd already figured out.

"Oh, something else making the gossip rounds-- people are really wondering just whose health the White House is covering-up and why. People are starting to remember how you were acting last Christmas. Did you know a top trauma psychologist from ATVA visited the White House on Christmas Eve?" Danny asked innocently as he walked away.

Josh frowned as he watched Danny walk away. Danny had the story. He was giving them a chance to announce it before someone else figured it out and ran it. Danny was a friend. He knew by obliquely warning Josh that the White House would return the favor by allowing him an exclusive interview. Josh pulled out his cell phone to warn CJ that the story was out there as he continued to walk back to the White House.

* * * Wednesday night, Press Briefing * * *

Press Secretary CJ Cregg stepped away from the podium and Josh Lyman took her place. He looked pale but composed as the flashes and the noise of the cameras died down.

"In December of last year my behavior became progressively erratic and belligerent. Chief of Staff Leo McGarry became concerned and requested that Dr. Stanley Keyworth of the American Trauma Victims Association meet with me on Christmas Eve. Dr. Keyworth determined that I was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of the events that occurred a year ago in Rosslyn. Because of the traumatic injuries I received, I had not been able to remember or assimilate the events of that night. Dr. Keyworth explained that I was reliving those events in sporadic episodes brought about by a subconscious association of the holiday music with the sounds of sirens. Since that time, I have received counseling from trauma specialist Dr. Daniel Friedman. The frequency of these episodes diminished rapidly following diagnosis and are now rare and easily controlled. I would like to assure everyone that, although there are lingering effects both physical and mental from the injuries I received during the assassination attempt, I am fully capable --and desirous-- of serving the American people as the White House Deputy Chief of Staff. Thank you."

"Josh! Josh!" the press clamored as Josh kept his eyes straight ahead and made his way to the door. Donna and Sam followed, ducking with him into Leo's office where he collapse onto the sofa, completely drained.

On the television, they saw CJ fielding questions from the press.

"CJ! Can you tell us how often Josh receives trauma counseling?"

"Josh currently has regular appointments every two weeks."

"Has that changed from when he was first diagnosed with PTSD?"

"Yes. He first went weekly. That was changed to bi-weekly last March. He was about to be placed on a monthly schedule, but with the events of recent weeks--"

"Has he been on any medication for his PTSD? Is he taking any mood-altering drugs?"

"No, Josh has never been given medication for the PTSD, only counseling. He was, of course, taking a great deal of medication following the shooting. Currently he is only on medication for hypertension."

"Has Josh had any flashbacks while on the job?"

"Considering that Josh is always 'on the job', Steve, I'd say that's a safe bet."

"Has he had any episodes while attending White House Events? Did he have an episode at the reception for the Japanese Ambassador last Saturday?"

"Yes. He had a severe episode last December during the Yo-Yo Ma concert at the Congressional Christmas party --which lead to Dr. Keyworth being called in. He had an extremely minor episode at the reception Saturday night."

"The days after the Yo-Yo Ma concert, Josh had a bandage on his hand. The story was he'd broken a glass. Was that story true?"

"No. No one believed his story -- hence Dr. Keyworth."

"Did Josh intentionally injure himself? Was he suicidal?"

"I'm not a doctor. I can't answer that."

"How did he cut his hand?"

CJ hesitated, they'd been afraid of this question. There was no good way to answer it. "Josh was reliving the events of Rosslyn at home after the concert. He couldn't make the flashbacks stop... We don't believe Josh was rationally aware of doing anything suicidal that night. Clearly, he was in extreme mental anguish at the time and he wanted to make the episode stop. He put his hand through the window."

"Has he had any other episodes where he attempted to harm himself?"

"No."

"Do you know that for sure?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that?"

"His friends are there for him. We make sure."

"Did Toby Ziegler remove Josh from the reception Saturday evening because of the episode?"

"Toby was concerned that Josh could have an episode or be in some distress from the sudden noise after the tray of glassware fell behind him. Believe it or not, even Toby has a heart." After the expected chuckle from the press, CJ continued with quiet seriousness. "We tease Josh mercilessly about a lot of things --and he deserves it-- but we will never forget the terror of Rosslyn and 14 hours of waiting to see whether he would live. Josh is a victim of terror. We do not want to see him further victimized for being human --for suffering from the trauma. We, all of us in the White House from the President to the maintenance staff, have become protective of Josh since we've seen how fragile life is. Perhaps we've been overly protective. He has been through so much. He just wanted to do his job and not be the object of stares and debate over whether he was competent to do that job. The White House respected that desire for privacy. Thank you. That's all for tonight."

Toby and Leo left their positions by the door and headed for Leo's office. CJ ignored the shouted questions from the reporters as she made her way across the pressroom. "Danny," she nodded, beckoning him to follow her. Danny Concannon quietly trailed after her to Leo's office. Josh was sitting on the sofa, pale and shaken, Donna at his side holding his hand. Sam, Toby, and Leo stood around like avenging angels ready to throw themselves into the battle to assist their comrade. The side door opened and the President swept into the room as Josh and Donna scrambled to their feet.

"Sit down, sit down." The President said putting a hand on Josh's shoulder and pushing him back down. He perched on the sofa arm, keeping his hand on Josh's shoulder. "Danny," he said acknowledging the reporter's presence. "I'm part of this story too. I'm here with the rest of my staff to lend our support to Josh Lyman. But first, I want to go on record as saying how immensely proud I am of Josh. Josh is an example of the American spirit. Yes, he has been hurt. Yes, he was bloodied and traumatized by the events that devastated and almost ended his life. His peaceful, comfortable view of the future was destroyed in a senseless act of hatred and terror. But Josh, like America, did not and will not cow down in the face of terror. Josh, like America, has survived.

* * * The End


End file.
